The body switching machine
by Punk-Rock-Chick02
Summary: Slade buying a body switching machine from Ebay plus, the titans, equals...PURE INSANITY. Read and see what the hell happens to our switched heroes. Come on...you know you want to find out.
1. Switched!

The body switching machine

Summary: Slade creates a body switching machine in attempt to become his 'idol'. But it blows up and causes the titans to have their bodies switched. Tons of questions remain, how will they take a leak? How the hell will they take a shower! Read and find out!

Warning: May contain some pointless, insane, and disturbing scenes! xD Don't say I didn't warn you! Lol

Author's note: This is just another insane story I had in my mind for a long time now! I dunno…I guess I got this idea from the episode 'switched' but I wondered what it would be like if all the titans had switched genders as well! Hah…hah…Anyways, Summary explains everything! Please read and review! I don't give a crap if you flame this story, I just did it for fun anyway…besides, I love a good laugh:P so…what are you waiting for? Read! Well…after the disclaimer…;)

Disclaimer: I don't own the teen titans or Michael Jackson or anyone you may see here! I own nothing! Absolutely nothing! There! I said it! Happy now?

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Chapter one: Switched!

It was just an ordinary day at the titans tower…

"Yo BB! Bet yah a hundred bucks you aint nevah gon' beat me at killah ninjas four!" Cyborg yelled to the green guy with his gangstah slang.

"I bet you ten thousand…no, wait…ten cents that I can beat you at that game!" He replied proudly.

"Ten cents? Man, you're cheap!" Cy complained.

"What do you expect! You know I'm always broke!" He fired back in defense.

"Yeah, but not I didn't know you were THAT broke."

"Whatever. Bet I could beat you though!" BB jumped up on the couch and got hold of the controller.

Meanwhile, Raven was currently behind them, sitting on her comfy chair, just reading her oh-so interesting book entitled; "Love-stories-based-on-real-live-people-who-are-famous-but-you-aren't-supposed-to-know-that-and-find-it-out-yourself-when-you-read-this-book" book. Talk about an awesome title. –Insert sarcasm here- :P

"_Kevin, I don't know how to say this but…I…I love you!"_

"_Oh Britney! I love you too! I wanna get married and have a kid with you, then we could get a house where I can just watch football games all day long without getting a job, and eventually turn out to be a really crappy rapper wannabe named K-fed with a senseless song called popo pow!"_

"_Oh my gosh! Let's get married tomorrow and pretend we're very much in love when we're really not!"_

"_Awesome!" They said in unison, then they ran around in circles and died. _

Raven gave the book a look that clearly stated 'WTF!'

"Don't give me that look you biatch!" The book yelled at her, causing raven to stab it unconsciously, and it died.

After realizing how much fun it was to stab the book unconsciously, she opened it again.

"_I-I can't love you…my emotions…I can't control them, whenever I'm around you…"_

"_No Rae…it's okay, I'll go through pain just to feel your warmth, I'll get stabbed by sharp pointy objects just to look into those beautiful amethyst eyes of yours, I'll go through hell just to beg your father to give me a chance even if he's the king of all demons and tries to kill me with his evil munchkin henchmen…no matter how violent you become around me, I will still love you…" He said passionately, as he held her hands in his. _

"_Eventhoughyourskinisgrayandyouhavethatweirdthingonyourforehead." He added quickly. _(Ha! Try reading that! …No, I'm not that mean…here's the translation: even though your skin is gray and you have that weird thing on your forehead.)

"_Oh beast…err…Oh boy…you're so sweet! My love for you burns like the hot intensity of a thousand suns!" She also said with passion._

"_Eventhoughyou'regreenandyouhavethoseweirdpointyelfearsandyourfatherisyoda." She added._ (Even though you're green and you have those weird pointy elf ears and your father is yoda.)

"_I will love you until the day I die!" They both said in unison, then they ran around in circles and died._

Raven stared at it again. _'Well…that was romantic.'_ She thought sarcastically.

"Raven! Come quick! Aaaaaaaahhhh!" Starfire yelled from the kitchen.

She stood up and teleported there.

"What's wrong?" Raven looked around, ready to attack whatever it was that star screaming at.

"Raven…m-my flabnork! It is…bleeding!" Starfire managed to screech in between her cries.

"What the hell is a 'flabnork'!" Raven stared at her, totally clueless as to what the hell she was talking about.

"MY FLABNORK, RAVEN! MY FLAAAABBBNOOORRRRKKK!" Star yelled, grabbing Raven, and shaking her violently.

"What's wrong! I heard star screaming and-What in the name of…uhh…bob…yeah…that would work… what in the name of bob is going on!" Robin yelled dramatically.

"Do you always have to come up with such crappy lines?" Raven asked blankly, still being shaken by starfire, who never seemed to stop screaming flabnork at her face.

"Just forget it. What's wrong with her?" asked Robin, dismissing the topic about his crappy lines.

"She said her flobnarl is bleeding." She answered, bored.

"IT IS FLABNORK!FLABNORK!" Starfire corrected.

"Riiiiight."

Then BB and cy ran into the kitchen.

"Yo! What happening to starfire? She just interrupted our game! And I was just in the middle of kicking BB's sorry ass!" Cy complained, still with his gangstah lingo.

"Uh…fo' shizzle…?" BB said, not knowing what the hell he just said.

"Oookay…Star? What were you saying?" Robin asked again.

"MY FLABNORK! IT IS BLEEDING! MY FLAAABNORRRRKKK!" She screeched.

"Dude, have you been smoking crack lately?" BB asked.

And for a moment, she turned perfectly normal…"What is this crack you speak of? I do not smoke the lines of people's buttocks, yes?" She questioned, completely forgetting about her bleeding flabnork.

They just stared at her.

"He meant drugs, Starfire." Raven said.

"Ohhh…I now understand!"

-And now, a moment of awkward silence-

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"FLABNORK!" She screamed again, banging her head against the kitchen counter.

"You…keep doing that…" Then raven walked to the elevator, looking forward to meditating.

"Yeah…uh, I'm gonna go work out, can't slack off when it comes to these abs!" Robin laughed cockily.

"Ah man, all this for a bleedin' flobnarg? Hey BB, let's get back to our game." Cy then walked out.

"IT'S FLABNORKK! FLABNORK!" Star screamed.

"Uhh…weren't you banging your head against the kitchen counter?" BB reminded her.

"Oh yes, thank you for reminding me friend Beastboy!" She smiled.

"No prob." He walked out of the kitchen.

"FLABNORK!" Star then resumed acting like an insane alien from outer space while banging her head against the kitchen counter screaming 'flabnork' to herself.

----MEANWHILE----

Slade was laughing insanely in his top secret hide out.

"Mwahahahahahahaha!" He laughed again as he was shining a big machine.

"YES! With this machine thingy that can switch people's bodies, I can finally turn into my one and only IDOL!" He then ran into his closet, grabbing some gloves, a sparkly red suit, and a black hat.

"MICHAEL JACKSON!" He moon walked around the machine, while dancing to Billie jean which was currently playing out of his Michael Jackson stereo.

"Billie jean is not my love! AH! She's just a girl who says I molested her son! AH! But we really just had some fun! OOH OOH OOH! She says I am the one! AH! But I did molest her son!"

"Slade…I don't wanna do this!" A skinny flat chested blonde bitch whined from the darkness. (I'm sure we all know who this is!)

"Shut up! You're the only girl I could find that had a chest as flat as a board, and would pass my standards to become my little boy, so get to it!"

"Yes, Master Slade…" Terra came out wearing boy clothes, with a name tag that said 'Lil' Peter'. Then slade's eyes sparkled with joy and excitement and started molesting terra. (Shudders)

"He was my idol since day one! I know everything about him! I even tried to burn my face off and have plastic surgery, but they made my face look like shit, and that's why I'm wearing this super cool mask!" He said to terra.

It's pretty obvious that MJ's his idol I mean, look…

Michael Jackson sticks his baby outta his balcony.

Slade holds raven over the edge of a really tall building.

Michael Jackson molests little boys.

Slade molested Robin and Terra.

…

See the relevance?

----BACK IN THE TOWER----

Beep.Beep.Beep.

The alarm sounded, and the titans rushed out of the tower.

----IN SLADE'S SUPER COOL HIDE OUT OF MICHAEL JACKSON-NESS----

They then went to slade's super secret hide out which obviously, wasn't a secret anymore.

"The jigs up slade! Get ready to moon walk yourself all the way to jail!" Robin yelled, pointing at slade.

"Not again." Raven shook her head.

"You'll never catch me! Not until I become Michael Jackson!" Slade ran into the machine with Michael Jackson.

"Hehehe!" Michael Jackson winked at robin.

"EW!" They all said in unison.

Then they all gathered around the machine trying to get it open.

----IN THE MACHINE----

"OH MY GOSH! I can't believe I'm actually inside a body switching machine with Michael Jackson!" Slade squeaked in a high girly tone.

"How old are you?" Michael asked out of the blue.

"36."

"Ah man." Michael mumbled, clearly disappointed that he wasn't ten and below.

----OUTSIDE THE MACHINE----

"Slade's in the machine with Michael Jackson!" Robin pointed at the machine.

"Dude, we know that." BB replied in a bored tone.

"The machine's shaking!" Robin yelled.

Then it started shaking insanely.

"Is it the machine, or is slade just humping on Michael Jackson again?" Terra asked.

Everyone shuddered at the thought.

"It's gonna blow up!" Robin yelled once again.

"Can you stop stating the obvious? I mean we already know that it's gonna…" Raven was cut off.

"The machine's blowing up!" robin screeched.

"Just forget it…" Raven shook her head in annoyance with the boy wonder.

Then it blew up.

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Thick smoke filled the air and you could barely see a thing…except for the smoke…yeah…

"Titans! Is everyone okay?" Robin managed to ask in between his coughs.

"Yeah." They all said in unison.

And as the smoke cleared…

"HOLY SHIT!" Robin screamed. "I'm RAVEN!"

"That's the most awful thing in the world!" Terra said in a mocking voice.

"And I'm YOU!" Raven yelled to robin.

"NOOOOOO! I'm Cyborg! Terra screeched as she realized she was now half robot and naked.

"Gramblorf! I have become beastboy! And…(GASP!) My grebnacks are gone!" Starfire cried.

"Hey I'm starfire! AH! My puss- (must keep story in a 'T' rating!)…erhhm…my female part! It's bleeding!" BB screamed, horrified.

"So that's what a flabnork was." Raven nodded and threw him a napkin.

"What's this?" BB ripped it open examining the foreign object with his two fingers.

"It's a napkin." She said monotonously.

"Gross! It's one of those things you stick in your underwear!" BB came to this conclusion, threw it at MJ and wiped his fingers on star's boots. "Hey, how'd I know that?" BB asked himself.

"I'm terra!" Cy screeched. "Whatsa matter wit you girl, don't you feed this flat chested body of yours! I look like a walking toothpick!" He whined.

"Yeah, the total opposite of what you look like. I look like a fat gangster robot!"

"Hey! Don't be insulting my body! Girls think I'm sexy!"

"How do you even pee in this thing?" Terra asked with a concerned look on her face.

"Uhhh…" Cyborg started sweating. "You don't!"

"What? NOOOOOOO!" Terra sobbed and rocked back and forth in a fetal position.

"Wait…How will we control our powers…? How will all of us pee? Or…even take a shower! Our genders are all switched!" Robin said with a horrified expression.

"Dude! Don't even make me think about it!" BB yelled, covering his ears and shaking his head.

"Slade, how long will this thing last?" Robin asked slade, who was now celebrating.

"YAY! I'm Michael Jackson!" Slade did some crappy dance moves.

"Slade!"

"What?" He screamed, obviously annoyed.

"How long will the effects of this machine last?"

"How should I know!"

"Because you created it!" Robin's vein started throbbing and his eyes started to turn red.

"Robin, control your emotions." Robin turned to raven.

"What for?" He asked.

"You have to if you don't want to end up destroying the universe." She said while rolling her eyes.

"Oh." He then turned back to slade. "Answer my question, how long will this last…?" He asked calmly.

"Maybe about a week." Slade replied as he played with his long MJ hair.

"Are you absolutely sure that it will last for just a week?"

"Gawd! I don't know okay! That's what it said when I bought it off of eBay!" Slade turned his back on Robin, crossed his arms and pouted. They then turned to MJ who was now in the body of Slade as he started sobbing.

"I'm…NOT a ten year old boy! Now my dreams of molesting myself are over! Huhuhuhuhu!" Michael ran away, tears streaming down his face…err…mask.

Everyone stared at him as he faded into nowhere and flew to never land.

"Oh well, Titans…guess we're gonna have to learn to live with this for about a week…" Robin sighed.

"But dude, what'll we do about our…'problems'?" BB asked.

"Team up with the ones your bodies were switched with. We have to teach each other how to take care of our bodies. That's the best I can come up with right now." Robin answered intelligently, while stroking his now long, lavender hair.

"But what'll we do with Terra? She's still rocking back and forth in Cy's body." BB pointed to terra who was still rocking back and forth in Cy's body. xD

"Pee…pee…pee…peeeeee…" terra chanted over and over.

"Just shut her down." Raven said with an evil grin on her face.

"Okie dokies." He pressed the off button and terra stopped.

But then…

Terra started stripping as Cyborg, while some music played.

"Dude, I didn't know you had a strip button." BB told Cy.

"Yeah, I don't even know why it's there! I mean, I'm not even wearing any clothes."

Then Terra started wiggling like an idiot.

"Friend beastboy? Why do I feel a sudden urge to freak dance with terra?" everyone stared at BB, who was currently sweating.

"Hey, I'm a growing boy! Whatdya expect!" BB protested and star ran to terra, and freak danced with her as BB.

"This is going to be one long week." Raven said in a monotone.

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Well…how was it? Sorry if it sounds a bit bizarre! I was really hyper when I typed this! So yeah…Anyways, more to come next chapter! Each chapter will get crazier and weirder! There will be new characters, so look out for that:)

Please, please, please tell me what you think! I really wanna know so that I could start planning on the next chapter!

Til here!

xxpUnK-rOcK-cHiCk02xx

(If you press that button down there, bunnies will rule the world!)


	2. An Absolutely pointless day

The body switching machine

Summary: Slade creates a body switching machine in attempt to become his 'idol'. But it blows up and causes the titans to have their bodies switched. Tons of questions remain, how will they take a leak? How the hell will they take a shower! Read and find out!

Warning: May contain some pointless, insane, and disturbing scenes! xD Don't say I didn't warn you! Lol

Author's note: Hey, I'm back, yet again, with another chapter for my crazy story xD I got nothing much to say here right now so…just read on!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans…and I never will… (Sobs)…since when did disclaimers become so depressing?

Chapter two: An absolutely pointless day

The Titans were now back at the tower, slumped on the couch, trying to figure out how the hell they will survive one week in each others bodies…

"Titans, team up." Robin stood up and faced that big window in the room.

"Dude, since when were YOU the leader? We don't need to follow you! You're just the sidekick of that dude with his underwear outside!" BB complained.

"You take that back! Superman was like a father to me!" Robin defended in an angry tone, turning to glare at BB in the face.

"Robin, your so-called father was batman." Raven said while she examined her forever gloved hands.

"Oh. I mean…Batman was like a father to me!" Robin said defensively.

"Friends, I have made the pudding of switched-ness! You will try it?" Starfire held up a pink bowl with something that looked like dead fish mixed with pounded brains and yoghurt. Yum.

"Sure!" Terra ran to star and swallowed the whole damn thing.

_Grumble…Grumble…_

"Uh oh." Terra's eyes went wide open.

"What is wrong friend terra? You do not like it?" Star was on the brink of tears. And terra just stared wide eyed.

_Grumble…Grumble…Gruuuummmbbllleee…_

"This can't be happening! Tell me it's not happening!" Terra shook her head in fear.

"It's not happening." Raven said sarcastically.

"Oh god, no! It's happening!" Terra clutched her stomach and ran to the bathroom.

----IN THE BATHROOM----

Terra sat on the toilet.

"Hmmmmfff! Gruuhhmmmff!" Terra moaned, constipated.

Nothing.

"I can't make poopie! NOOOOOOOOOO!" She cried and ran out the bathroom.

----BACK IN THE COMMON ROOM----

"I can't poop Cyborg! I hate you!" Terra pointed accusingly at him.

"It's not my fault! Blame the guy who created me!" Cy replied angrily.

"Who created you then?" Terra asked, very, very frustrated.

"How the hell should I know!"

"Duh! Because he created you!"

"I don't know who made me, okay!" Cy yelled.

"Your creator gave you a strip button instead of a poop button, and you had to suffer all your life without using the bathroom." Raven butted in monotonously. "He must really love you." She added sarcastically.

"Shut the hell up Raven! We don't need your sarcasm here!" Terra said harshly.

"Well, we don't need to hear your stupid pooping problems either."

"Fine!"

"Fine." They both exchanged death glares.

"Anyway! I must go on a mission to find the creator of Cyborg and make him fix this problem!" Terra said in a hero-like voice with the American flag waving behind her.

"Yeah! And cause war with him!" Bush appeared out of nowhere and laughed diabolically.

"OOH! OOH! Say nuclear!" BB waved his arms excitedly. He's always wanted to do this.

"Neuceuler." Bush answered cluelessly.

"No wonder they made you President. You're a damn genius." Raven muttered with sarcasm. Then Bush mysteriously disappeared.

"I shall go now! Off to find Cyborg's creator!" She grabbed a bag, stuffed screws in it, and walked out the door.

"Finally." Raven sighed.

"Star? Mind to tell me why I've been bleeding for hours now? Don't you girls run outta blood! It's really weird and it's creeping me out!" BB shuddered.

"It is what they say, my time of the month." Star turned red from embarrassment.

"It's your birthday?"

"No, Einstein, that's the time of the year." Raven blurted out.

"But I thought that was Christmas!" BB was clearly confused.

"I thought that was New Year!" Robin said.

"I thought it was underwear day!" Everyone stared at Cy. "What?" He asked, oblivious as to why they were staring at him.

"Do I have to explain everything?" The dark girl asked, and they all looked at her with faces that said 'Hell yeah'.

It couldn't be that bad. Right? …Wrong.

----AFTER THE EXPLANATION---

The guys were pale white, their mouths agape, and they were just frozen.

"Don't. Tell. Me. _we're_. All. Gonna. Go. Through. That." Robin said, frightened.

"Depends on when you have it." Raven answered.

"Dude, that is so sick." BB said, astounded by the grossnessness…ness…ness…?

"Coz I'm so sick of love songs! So tired of tears! So done with wishing you were still here!" Neyo sang in the background, and the guys forgot what happened a few moments ago, faster than you could say:

'A little bunny flew over the rainbow and ate a cookie and crapped on the road and danced the cha-cha with a banana and wiggled and jiggled and giggled and tickled a little pancake named Bob and ate the little pancake named Bob and crapped beside it's crap on the road and did the dance moves from the 'thriller' music video and eventually got run over by a 900 pound truck and the little bunny then died on its crap and went to never land where he met up with Michael Jackson and they both did the dance moves from the 'thriller' music video.'

Yeah. That was fast.

Then Neyo disappeared into thin air.

"Titans, I'm serious, if we wanna get through this week alive, we're gonna have to team up. Raven, you're with me, Beastboy, you're with Star…and Cyborg…since terra's not here, just do whatever the hell you want with her body. We don't give a crap." Robin said in a bored tone.

"You got that right, Boy blunder." Raven remarked.

"I have made more pudding of switched-ness!" Star ran to Robin but tripped on a banana peel that the extremely insane author put on the floor, and the pudding spilled all over Robin.

"Great. now I need a shower." Robin's eyebrows furrowed, as he crossed his arms in a childish manner, totally forgetting that he was in Raven's body.

"Robin." Raven tapped him on the shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"You're me remember." She reminded, her face a bit worried.

You don't normally see Raven worried.

Nope.

Not unless you get your bodies switched with a guy and end up having him see you naked when he takes a shower, or changes clothes, or goes to the bathroom.

Yup. Other than that, you never see her worried.

"Oh shit." Robin smacked his forehead in frustration, and a nearby light bulb exploded.

"Hey, look on the Brightside, Robin! At least you get to see a hot Goth chick naked!" BB exclaimed, as if this were a perfectly normal thing to say.

"What did you just say?" Raven growled at him.

"Uhh…At least he gets to see a hit Goth chick naked…?" He answered indefinitely.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" She threw her arms forward, only to find that she no longer had her powers. "This whole body switching thing is starting to get to me." She massaged her temples.

"Ha! You can't break my ribs!" BB laughed mockingly.

"When I get my body back, I swear, I will rip your face off with my bare hands, torture you to no end, listen to you scream in pain, and I will enjoy every fucking second of it." She threatened menacingly.

A gulp from Beastboy.

"Uh, Raven, I can't walk around covered in pudding crap." Robin said dryly.

"What? You want a shower or something?"

"Well, if that's the only way I could get clean."

"Too bad. Coz you're not taking a shower in _my_ body."

"What? You want me to reek like hell?"

"No. I don't want you to see me naked!" She creamed back defensively.

"Well, I NEED that shower, you don't want YOUR body to smell bad, do you?" He roared.

"We'll settle this argument later." She walked to the couch and crossed her arms.

"Whatever you say!" Robin pouted and sat on the floor.

----MEANWHILE IN TERRA'S JOURNEY----

She was currently at McDonalds, eating her burger happily.

"I'll just eat a bit, and I'll be on my way to find Cy's creator!" She chewed once again.

"Hey Mr. Cyborg, sir. Will you give me an autograph? Please, please, please, please, please-" a little boy approached her and never stopped saying please.

"Sure thing little buddy!" She said gleefully, trying to sound like Cyborg.

"You don't sound like Cyborg." The five-year old kid eyed her suspiciously.

"I-I…got my tonsils removed! Yeah…That's why I sound like this!" She stuttered.

"Oh. Are you nakie?" He asked, referring to Cy's clothlessness. And if that's not a word, to hell with it, I aint Webster, people.

"Uhh…"

----IN NEVERLAND----

"I'm Michael! What's your name?" MJ asked a little boy.

"I'm peter!"

"Hi peter! Are your parents here?" He asked out of the blue.

"No."

"Perfect! Wanna visit me in my house? I have cooooookieesss!"

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Sure! Yay cookies!" the boy exclaimed excitedly.

"Yay indeed." Michael grinned at the person reading this fanfic evilly.

DUN. DUN. DUNNNNNNNN

----BACK IN THE TOWER----

"That's it raven, I'm taking a shower, and that's final!"

"Ugh." She growled. "Just don't look down at my body."

"And if I do?" He asked playfully.

"I will beat you with a flaming stick spawned from the inner depths of hell until your eyes pop out of your eye sockets, and until your brain oozes out of your mouth. Then I will gladly beat the crap out of you with a medieval flail, stick it up your ass and enjoy it immensely."

He swallowed hard.

"O-okay." 'She is so morbid.' He thought. 'Cool.' He added, and smirked.

He then ran to the shower.

----IN THE BATHROOM----

"HOOOOOOLLLLYYYYYY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!"

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(You hate me right now, don't yah?)

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FIND OUT ON THE NEXT CHAPTER:P I am so mean xD My first cliffhanger ever! Hah-hah…hope the story wasn't as bad as I thought it was (grins) thanks to those who reviewed! I love you guys!

Look out for the next chapter! More chaos and insanity is going to happen! And find out what'll happen to Robin in the shower, to BB and his 'problem', to MJ and peter, and to terra on her journey to find Cy's creator, while Cy just lays around all day watching star wars.

Til here!

ME

(Click that button down there, and make an insane person incredibly happy! You know you want toooooo!)


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